"Quiet"

I'm a pretty loud person around my friends and family. Half of the time I don't even realize how loud I am. Other times, I am ridiculously quiet. To the point that I have an entire conversation in my head, but nothing escapes my mouth. It is always at the most inoportune times too. For instance, when my dad is screaming at me for something I didn't even do. He's really giving it to me and my only reaction are the tears streaming down my face. Or when it is the perfect opportunity to ask the guy I'm talking to, to prom and I just lay in his arms staring at him, wishing I knew what to say. Or when my sister asks me what I think about her outfit, and although it is a hot mess, I just stand there and nod my head. Sometimes I really want to stand up for myself, but it's as if I don't know how. It is the Vaught curse of wanting to be peace-makers. My mom, her  brothers and sisters, and her dad are all the same way. I've been doing a lot better lately though. I'm learning to make myself speak up. So far, the results have been positive. I'm gonna keep workingt at it. It's a process.