Interior Monologue

God, gas is expensive! I'm serious. I'm glad I dn't drive yet. But sometimes, Dad makes me buy gas if he is taking me somewhere. He used to let me pump the gas until the last time. Some 17 year old was there getting gas the same time we were. Dad went in to get some snacks. When he came out, Austin, that's the guys names, and I were making out. Dad FLIPPED! I never heard the end of it.
But yead, gas is crazy. That's why I try to walk wherever I need to go. Unlessit is too cold. When I start driving, I don't know what I'll do.
In all reality, why isn't gas free? I mean, we buy a car, pay for repairs, tire rotations, and oil changes. Shouldn't something be free?

Strength Lies in Me!

Strength lies not in my mother
Strength lies not in my father
Strength lies in me

In my lowest moment
When others thought I should have fear
When others were ready to wipe I tear
It was God, who used me
To bring them cheer

The thought of surgery
It should have blown my mind
Instead,
I was perfectly fine

What if the doctor made a mistake?
It was my life,
With one slit he could take!

But it seemed like every time I thought about crying
God sat on my shoulder and whispered
"My child don't even think about dying"

So I found myself calm and at peace
Told everyone, "Don't worry,
I've got this"

Some thought it was a cover up
Others maybe made up
But I'm a witness that God truly cares
Cares enough to take away my scares

When I should have down
And when I should have been worried
God said, "Hey, teach my people to trust me"

For taking away my scares
And replacing them with peace
For having my back
Figuratively, and literally

God, forever
I give you me!

Hunger

Wanna know the worst time for your stomach to growl? In the middle of prayer at church! This past Sunday, February 13th, I'm sitting in the choir stand with my eyes closed, listening to Mr. Brian pray and then it happens. I feel my stomach start to rumble and I think to myself, "DON'T DO IT! PLEASE NOT NOW!"
"Grawwwall" For like 45 seconds my stomach has itself a party. I immediately look up to see if anyone noticed. The entire back row of the choir stand is staring at me. Of course I begin blushing. Then, it happens again. not twice, but six times! Oh My Goodness! This was so embarrassing. Let me tell you, that's the last time I won't eat breakfast before church!!

"Love or Whatever"

Step Up

You seriously need to

BE HONEST

Stop feeding me lies

and leading me on

Step up

Tell me how you feel

Deep, deep down inside

It really doesn't matter

how hurtful it is

Step up

I can handle the truth

I'm a big girl

I may cry for a while

But I will get over it

Step up

Step up and be a man

Quit hiding from me

Ignoring me & bewildering me

Cause that hurts worst of all

STEP UP

Venting

Sometimes it seems like no one understands me!! And I can't really blame them because they haven't sat where I sat. I had to give up the second greatest thing in my life this year because of surgery. I devoted three  years into marching band and I just had to say goodbye. Being in band kept me from taking P.E before this year. So since I've had restrictions since April, I couldn't take it this year either. I've been working on my health credit online. I'm really grateful that I still got the chance to get my credit, but it's just really annoying. I hate doing it. Some people think I have no right to complain about it because I could just not get the credit, or have to come back next year. To me though, I have every right to be upset. I had a 5 hour surgery, had no summer, missed my first prom, didn't get to do any of the things my friends got to do, gave up marching band, and couldn't run, jump, lift, or twist for and entire year. I have severe pain when it just rains, I don't get to go party with my friends, or go bowling, or swim. I was made to miss out on EVERYTHING! So don't tell me I should be positive or be more grateful. I never say anything to anybody. I didn't for like 6 months. I just cried to myself, or wrote about it, like I'm doing now. I never got that chance to be vocal. Do me a favor and PLEASE leave me alone and just let me have my pity party. I deserve that much don't I?

"Around the World"

My sister traveled around the world in 2010. She went to 11 countries in 11 months, on a mission trip. I personally think that is so radical. It really says a lot when you give up your comfort, family, and friends to help other people.
Her and her teammates could only eat  off of one dollar a day. WOW! That's what I call sacrifice! I really missed my sister a lot while she was gone. I don't know, my sister and I are extremely close. We argue a lot and bicker. But at the end of the day I know that she is the one person I can depend on to be there for me.

Least favorite Vignette

My little sister, Sally is my heart. I dreamt about her for seven months. I still remember when mom told Perer and me she was having a baby. That day I told God I wanted a little sister. I mush have been good that year because God surly gave me what I asked for. Let me tell you, she's the greatest blessing I ever received. Sally gave me the push I needed to tell on my step dad. Sally changed my life. Simple as that.